Thread · 5 tweets · 4 Jan 2020

2020. Totalitarianism replacing democracy, pervasive surveillance from the technocrat overclass of corporate behemoths, incipient endless worldwide dirty war, and climate change burning whole countries down. Clearly, whoever was meant to invent zombies really *really* fucked up.

I can see the last meeting of the Dystopian Eschaton Steering Committee. Silvia killed it delivering fascism to the US simply by getting some dirt on McConnell so election security would never happen, and George had a killer idea noticing that bad hair always won in the UK.

Ernestine and Wassym knew from the start that the hacker activism of the 90s, umoored from humanities as it was, would just need free food and a push from the rationalist movement to lose its bearing and work on greed as if it were good. They really delivered.

Alice's war project hit a wall when Al-Qaeda faltered despite Bush & Obama efforts, but Trump gave her an unexpected save. Bruce had to go over budget to lobby politicians into being stupid enough to deny the climate emergency - but it worked.

Karen... Karen, what do you mean there won't be zombies? What the fuck, Karen, WHERE ARE THE FUCKING ZOMBIES??? 🧟‍♂️ Anyway, we're pretty fucked but a thought for Karen who's having a really bad day working at Immanentize™.